Meds or not to meds that isn't the question

I got to jump in on this line of thought while its here in the frontal area.

I remember once talking to my Father about anti Depressants and I remember him saying " Why would I want to forget the things that have hurt me? I don't need some pill to make me forget what happened I am not that weak." My response in my mind was " So I am weak now?" This is a turning point for me. A moment in the hear and the now where I could see some associated thought patterns emerge. I sit here thinking that it was a closed minded approach to the problem at hand, it was a willingness to avoid correction of a problem. It was a willful request for pain in other words. Why forget the pain? why keep it?
One could argue that the precess of reflecting upon the lessons of pain is a virtuous and long lived human experience. Without pain how do we evolve and all that other existential mental masturbation i could go into. I thought of it as petulant and useless and non-progressive. but the truth is that I had the same sort of resistance to attending counseling of any kind. In my mind that was the next step, the next little chip on the scale of sane versus insane. I have had some rather stormy interpersonal relationships as a result of my ability to cut through what I believe to be bullshit, but that pisses people off... yeah i can see that kind of like you dont want your only picture in the Senior year book to be that of you getting knocked the fuck out by the big kid on campus. If I can see into your bullshit and tell you that I can; make you understand that I can, then I am no longer the person you want to hang with. I have to wonder if there is a fundamental violation that I am committing in some way. I think not, I think that it is the right of everyone to speak their piece, I would prefer that it is done in a respectful manner but hey I gots a temper too Chief.

So I avoided counseling, I procrastinated and allowed for reasons and excuses to not become a "Mental Health patient". You guys are gonna hate this.... but there is a profoundly negative stigma for person diagnosed with Anxiety disorders within the medical field at large. When i was working in at Methodist Dallas Medical Center I was fortunate enough to expand my skill set to dealing with post op gastric bypass patients. Now that i think about it I am not sure fortunate is completely accurate in this situation. There are certain patterns that nurses can expect to see and work with in any specialty. Ortho nurses know certain things about traction and casts and the ins and outs of surgical wound dressing. Oncology nurses have thiers etc. Well one of the things that i noticed with all of these patients that were coming in to receive bypass surgery held the diagnosis of "GAD" Generalized Anxiety Disorder. I recall having a conversation with another nurse whom probably had a similar Body mass index that I do. If you guys know me IRL then the picture has been painted of a fat hairy guy that looks a lot like but isn't Jim Dyer. At any rate this other nurse and I were discussing some rather strange behavior that we noticed between one of the patients and his visitor. The patient in question was 20 is h male with bright purple hair had actually come up from Austin to have the procedure performed. His visitor was a woman in her 60's easily and thats where it got wierd.... we couldn't determine how to classify that relationship Surely it wasnt related to sex right? Butthen there was that one thing that she was just doing.... odd. Please understand that nurses know people, we are frequently meeting and caring for people of al kinds of composition. So fucking wierd people catch out eye. So as I start to let my sence of humor get involved with the facts my coworker cuts me flat off and says "you know I just don't care you know all these people have mental issues." Incidentally i was asked what phase of the bypass program I belonged to by at least 4 of my patients.... awesome.